Love in the time of Boredom

I once told friends that life around me tasted bland, like my mind's tongue had turned into a dusty piece of cardboard. I feel now that I was right. But I can't help from thinking how hackneyed my feelings are, how utterly and exactly average. At the risk of sounding like I need gallons of self-pity poured down my throat, i recall a time when I went to the doctor in high school for a check up and was confused to hear that I was exactly average height and average weight; someone please tell me I have average sentiments as well. Thankfully I have been successfully bred to have a violent gut-reaction to average-ness, so that I feel horrible about it. In a society where labeling is a thinly-veiled substitute for intellect and value, the paradox seems to be lost on everyone including me, or, rather, its simply accepted and brushed under the rug.

What is needed is a firm, irrefutable passion to walk through the door wearing robes of thyme and singing odes of joy at the top of its translucent lungs that fill the entire room, wall to wall. I need to drown in an endless golden pond, going down and down to its depths weighted by my own, seeing singing fish holding lutes with their mouths full; a lightness like day-dreaming. Mmm... cloudberries. I'm glad I no nothing of poetry. Imagine the trouble I'd get in if I did.

I just read that McCain proposed forming an organization of true "democratic" states to promote and protect the democratic spirit, something he says the UN is hopelessly failing at. Discuss.

Spring Inspiration

or lack there of. This spring quarter ranks unmistakeably and prominently among the tired and soiled dregs of the past 5 years of college quarters. Outside the sun shines, flowers blossom, trees regain foliage, hyped students fresh from their winter hide-aways run around on fields of new grass throwing flirtatious glances at one another. Impervious to all the world's reinvigorated sparkle, I sit thinking of things I should be thinking about, not doing any of them. And there are indeed important things that need to be done right now (as I write about doing them), like making sure the Registrar knows that I'm graduating next month.

but it ruffles the feathers of my equanimity. i dont picture myself as the lazy, unmotivated type, but that's exactly what I have become over the last few weeks. it would be a cop out to lay the blame on senioritis, but what else is there. I am tired of the classes, the homework that doesn't lead anywhere, that seems so incongruous to what I feel. and online TV doesnt help at all. its probably the best worst part of the internet. i'm looking forward to lausanne where internet connections are scarce and email isnt the default crutch i lean on everytime i'm in my apartment. with graduation just around the corner, lets all hope for a gentle end to this chapter.